Connecting
In the process of my reconnecting with God through a daily Prayer ritual it occured to me that there are some folks near by that I need to connect with. They are my family.
It's not like we don't see each other or communicate, but we just all appear to be so lost in life that we don't take the time to just talk and share the things going on in our lives. In the midst of playing sports together or coaching together or "Watching TV" together, we do very little talking. As I thought about this, I began to feel an ache in my heart as I have been the one who has been the most guilty for not making the effort to lead my family in simple conversations.
So last night, as work died off and the evening was coming around, I took a step. First I took a mental note of my expectations and made a proactive choice to NOT control anyone in the house, rather I would let things go where they did and cherish the moments for what they where.
Next I took a quick inventory of the night. Brandy and Eric where at Tennis, while Ryan was at home playing on the playstation. I made a decision to prepare a simple dinner so that when Brandy and Eric arrived at home, the table would be set and dinner would be ready. Nothing grand, I made some Tacos and Rice for all of us to sit and eat together. Just prior to cooking I asked Ryan to take care of a few chores (Trash and Dish Duty). As Ryan completed his tasks and I completed getting dinner ready, I looked at the clock and realized that we had about 20-30 minutes before Brandy and Eric entered the house.
In the past I would sit down and flip through the mulitple sports choices on TV and let Ryan continue playing playstation on the other TV. On the flip side, I would try to find an activity for us to do together, outside or something of my own choosing. Instead, last night I decided to try and get into his world. I took a few minutes to play Madden Football with Ryan, who promplty crushed me. Of course I was saved by halftime as Brandy and Eric walked in the door and our game was canceled so that we could eat dinner together.
The night goes on as we talked a bit about school, tennis and life in general. We then cleaned up as a family team which again was out of character for us. After dinner, Brandy and Eric were wiped out from a long and busy day, so they retired to the TV to watch the latest episode of Bones. Eric has really gotten into these shows that are like the CSI shows and he has talked about wanting to get a degree in Forensics in order to go out and solve crimes.
Meanwhile Ryan was trying to figure out what he wanted to do, so I asked him if he wanted to play some games. He was interested and we promptly played a couple of board games for a little over an hour. The key is that we talked and talked...well he talked and I listened and asked questions as I was and am curious about his life.
As much of a soccer enthusiest that he is as a player and a fan, he shared some stories about new friends at school and he shared stuff from his classes. It was really cool to just chat with no agenda.
I was not planning to teach Ryan anything, nor was I in the process of doing anything other than just connect.
This coming week-end I will have a great opportunity to connect with Eric. I'm driving him to a Tennis tournament that is about 2 hours away. So we will have several hours alone simply to talk as he feels lead and feels safe enough to do.
So my Prayer is that as I reconnect with God and work on the "Clutter" in my life, that I will recognize and capitalize on the moments that God provides for me to connect with those that are the most important to me...Brandy, Eric and Ryan.
It's not like we don't see each other or communicate, but we just all appear to be so lost in life that we don't take the time to just talk and share the things going on in our lives. In the midst of playing sports together or coaching together or "Watching TV" together, we do very little talking. As I thought about this, I began to feel an ache in my heart as I have been the one who has been the most guilty for not making the effort to lead my family in simple conversations.
So last night, as work died off and the evening was coming around, I took a step. First I took a mental note of my expectations and made a proactive choice to NOT control anyone in the house, rather I would let things go where they did and cherish the moments for what they where.
Next I took a quick inventory of the night. Brandy and Eric where at Tennis, while Ryan was at home playing on the playstation. I made a decision to prepare a simple dinner so that when Brandy and Eric arrived at home, the table would be set and dinner would be ready. Nothing grand, I made some Tacos and Rice for all of us to sit and eat together. Just prior to cooking I asked Ryan to take care of a few chores (Trash and Dish Duty). As Ryan completed his tasks and I completed getting dinner ready, I looked at the clock and realized that we had about 20-30 minutes before Brandy and Eric entered the house.
In the past I would sit down and flip through the mulitple sports choices on TV and let Ryan continue playing playstation on the other TV. On the flip side, I would try to find an activity for us to do together, outside or something of my own choosing. Instead, last night I decided to try and get into his world. I took a few minutes to play Madden Football with Ryan, who promplty crushed me. Of course I was saved by halftime as Brandy and Eric walked in the door and our game was canceled so that we could eat dinner together.
The night goes on as we talked a bit about school, tennis and life in general. We then cleaned up as a family team which again was out of character for us. After dinner, Brandy and Eric were wiped out from a long and busy day, so they retired to the TV to watch the latest episode of Bones. Eric has really gotten into these shows that are like the CSI shows and he has talked about wanting to get a degree in Forensics in order to go out and solve crimes.
Meanwhile Ryan was trying to figure out what he wanted to do, so I asked him if he wanted to play some games. He was interested and we promptly played a couple of board games for a little over an hour. The key is that we talked and talked...well he talked and I listened and asked questions as I was and am curious about his life.
As much of a soccer enthusiest that he is as a player and a fan, he shared some stories about new friends at school and he shared stuff from his classes. It was really cool to just chat with no agenda.
I was not planning to teach Ryan anything, nor was I in the process of doing anything other than just connect.
This coming week-end I will have a great opportunity to connect with Eric. I'm driving him to a Tennis tournament that is about 2 hours away. So we will have several hours alone simply to talk as he feels lead and feels safe enough to do.
So my Prayer is that as I reconnect with God and work on the "Clutter" in my life, that I will recognize and capitalize on the moments that God provides for me to connect with those that are the most important to me...Brandy, Eric and Ryan.
posted by 92bDad at 11:05 AM
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